Another Insane Irken
by Invader Zine
Summary: O_o Summeries...Another Irken somes to Earth, this time to check up on Zim. I don't wanna say too much. Except she'll (the Irken) be staying longer than previously planned. ((Chapter 3 up! Good? R&R Please!))
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Finally, I wrote another story! Amazing! The beginning's kinda iffy, but it'll get better. Hopefully. If not, I apologize. Please read and reply. I like replies. They're yummy. Mmm.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. Jhonen created it. Jhonen rocks! Sadly, Viacom ::grumble:: owns it.  
  
Another Insane Irken Part One By: Invader Zine  
  
"Eeeeeeeeehoooooooo!!" Crash. "Silence, G.I.R.!" G.I.R. stopped slamming himself into the wall. "Awe. Wassamatter, master?" The red-eyed Irken turned from his work to his robot "assistant." "I still have repairs to do on the computer." Zim shook his head. "I haven't been able to contact the Tallest since your little mishap." "Oh." G.I.R. said slowly. He looked around and gasped. "The Scary Monkey!" G.I.R. ran off, screaming, "Monkeeee!" Zim shook his head, again, muttering, "That horrible robot."  
  
Up in the house.  
  
G.I.R. sat on the couch with pig, and watched the Scary Monkey Show on the television. G.I.R. laughed insanely every time the monkey growled.and every second in between. Pig just sat there. When the show ended, the sound of an engine came from outside. The sound grew louder. G.I.R. jumped up. "Oh, no! The hippopotamus is angry!" The robot ran down to the lab to find his master.  
  
Down in the lab.  
  
His master, Zim, was still working on the computer. Various items such as toy pigs, deflated balloons, and television remotes sat in a pile next to the Irken. He pulled a wad of bubble gum from the computer and, growling, put it in the pile. G.I.R. came running through the lab like a maniac, screaming, "Angry hippopotamus! Angry hippopotamus!" Zim looked over to his robot. His eye twitching, he stood up and questioned, "What ARE you talking about, G.I.R.?" The robot stopped running. He casually walked over to his master. Happily, G.I.R. said, "There's an angry hippopotamus outside!" He smiled and made a little squeaky noise. Zim started to ask, "A what?" but was interrupted by the doorbell. Zim scowled. "Why must I keep being interrupted? Why?" He stomped off to answer the door, grabbing his disguise along the way. G.I.R. looked at the pile of stuff, smiled, and jumped in.  
  
When Zim got to the house, there was no sign of an "angry hippopotamus." He walked to the door and opened it. The short invader goggled at what he saw. An Irken! A female, standing about a head taller than Zim, with red eyes, not too different from those of the Tallest's. She wore a soldier's uniform, with many stripes. Behind her was a S.I.R. unit. Further behind was a voot runner, parked on the lawn. The girl looked down at him. "You're alive! Good job, Zim." She wrote something down on the clipboard she had been holding. Zim shook himself. He hoped this wouldn't be like the last time an Irken came to his base. With that time, his mission of DOOM had been threatened. "Who are you?" he demanded. "Oh, how contemptuous of me!" she exclaimed. "My name is Zine." "What is your business here? This is MY planet to conquer. ZIM's!" Zine looked bored. "I'm here to monitor you. Will you let me in or will you make me suffer this horrid atmosphere?" Zim moved out of the way and resignedly let her in. Her S.I.R. marched in behind. Zine looked around and immediately began taking notes. "What do you mean by 'monitor' me?" Zine spun around and smiled proudly. "The Tallest asked me to." Zim's eyes widened. The Tallest? She went on, "Yep! They said they hadn't heard from you. The Tallest thought you may have been dead, but weren't sure. I came in while they were talking about it and-" "Why'd you come in?" "Uh.never mind that. But they sent me to check up on your progress." She looked down. Under her breath, she said, "They seemed to be eager to get me going." "I wonder why." her robot said. "S.I.R.!" Zine snapped. She looked back to Zim. "And they gave me a S.I.R. unit, since at first I didn't want to come here." Zim laughed in his head. Just a S.I.R.? Pitiful! "Well," he stated. "As you see, I am alive. Tell the Tallest, ZIM is fin and progressing well. I just had a problem with the transmitter," He walked over to the door and opened it. "Zine, you will be leaving now." "Not quite yet, Zim." Zine said sternly.  
  
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( Well that's it for now. Not great, but I tried. I think I rushed the story, eh? Yep. I'll get the next part up as soon as I can. Woo! Please reply! Hmm.I need a soda.  
  
~*Invader Zine: The DEAD Lord Of All Humans!*~ "I never met an angel I liked." -Alexander Hergensheimer 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I was told this had suspense. Eh? I dunno. But, if people think that.okay! I'd just like to remind people that Zine is pronounced 'zeen' like in magaZINE. Yep. I apologize in advance for out of character scenes, in case those come up, which they most likely will. ::sigh:: I need some caffeine.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. Jhonen created it. Jhonen rocks! Sadly, Viacom ::grumble:: owns it.  
  
Another Insane Irken Part Two By: Invader Zine  
  
"What?" Zim asked.  
  
"I told you," Zine said, "I was sent to monitor you." She walked over to Zim. "I will be staying a few days to, y'know, make sure you're doing what your supposed to."  
  
"You think I'm not following invader protocol?" Zim asked suspiciously.  
  
"Nyeh.no. No, I just want to see what you're up to. That's all."  
  
Zim grimaced. He didn't need someone following him around everywhere. He really didn't need someone watching his every move. "How do I know you were really sent by the Tallest?"  
  
"I thought so." Zine walked over to her ship. Zim and the S.I.R. followed. It was very dark out, with no signs of humans out. Zine stopped. She pressed a button on the side of her voot runner. The panels spread apart to show a screen.  
  
The screen fizzled, then showed Almighty Tallest Red, looking annoyed.  
  
"Zine? What do you want now?"  
  
"My Tallest," Zine said, "could you be so kind as to explain to Zim here that you have in fact directed me to monitor him?"  
  
(A/N: Is it Tallest or Tallests? Ah! I'm puttin' Tallest. Don't hurt me!)  
  
Red's eyes widened. Purple's voice was heard, off screen, saying, "Zim's alive?" He stumbled into view.  
  
"Yes he is," Zine 'assured.'  
  
For a moment, there was silence. Zim and Zine waited while Red and Purple gawked at Zim's.not.deadness.  
  
Zine cleared her throat.  
  
"Oh." Red blinked. "Yes, uh, we did tell you to.do what ever we said."  
  
Zine spoke up, "Monitor Zim."  
  
"Yeah.right." Purple rolled his eyes.  
  
"Thank you, my Tallest. That's all I needed. Zine, signing off." The screen fizzled off and the panels covered the screen again.  
  
"Idiot." The Almighty Tallest laughed.  
  
Zine turned to Zim. SIR glared at him. Zine threw Zim a cocked smirk and a raised eyebrow.  
  
Zim growled. He does that a lot. The Tallest did say that Zine was supposed to monitor me, he thought. For the Tallest. "Very well."  
  
"Yay!" Zine shouted.  
  
"Shhh! You have to be quiet," Zim commanded. "The humans may here you."  
  
Zine looked around. There were no Earth creatures out, except a little, spooky looking dog. She turned back to Zim and shrugged.  
  
"And as long as you are here, you will abide by my rules."  
  
"Eh."  
  
  
  
It was beginning to get light out. Skool would be starting soon. The humans would be out soon. Zine's ship was in the middle of the yard, and her without a disguise!  
  
"Zine," Zim said quickly, "Since you're going to stay here, you're going to need a disguise. Now I -"  
  
"Oh, wonderful!" she cut him off. Zine hopped inside of her Voot Cruiser. Moments later, she came back out, but different. Her skin was a light color, white as you may call it. Her brown hair went past her waist, with bangs, her brown eyes behind green eye shadow and pink glasses. She wore a long black jacket over a black shirt and pants, and the same thick soled boots she had been wearing. Her shirt showed her belly and shined the symbol of the Irken army.  
  
"Isn't it great? I worked on it the whole way here. Spiffy, huh?"  
  
Zim observed his own disguise. His lavender eyes, black hair, three- striped Irken soldier's uniform.and green skin. He noticed that Zine had included a nose and ears. He had not. He didn't like her. "Yes.spiffy," Zim said through gritted teeth. "And your ship needs to-"  
  
"Oh, my ship!" Zine turned to her robot. "SIR, could you?"  
  
SIR saluted and marched into the Voot. It pressed a button, and then quickly jumped out. The ship became smaller and smaller until it was about the size of a hackey sack. SIR picked it up and handed it to Zine. She took it and placed it in her pocket. Zim raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Made that feature myself." Zine gloated.  
  
Zim scrunched his face. Through his teeth, he said, "I have to get to skool." He walked off. Zine followed him, scribbling on her clipboard.  
  
"What are you doing?" Zim asked sharply.  
  
"Followin' you. Remember, I'm supposed to monitor you. So there." Zine stuck out her tongue, which was still striped.  
  
Zim's eye twitched.  
  
Ooh. Zim keeps growlin'. Hah. I think that chapter was kinda iffy. Oh, well. I'll have next chapter. We get to see Dib. Heeheehee!  
  
~*Invader Zine: The DEAD Lord Of All Humans!*~ "There's no mountain too high, no river too wide. Sing out this song and I'll be there by your side." 


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry for the long wait folks, as if you were even keeping track. I've been busy with skool. I'm also writing a whole bunch of stories including this one. They're better. I hope to get them up sometime. Any who, onward with the ficcy!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. Jhonen created it. Jhonen rocks! Sadly, Viacom ::grumble:: owns it.  
  
Another Insane Irken  
  
Part Three  
  
By: Invader Zine  
  
Zim and Zine walked through the skool's hallways. Zine wore a button on her chest that said "Visitor." She shined it proudly.  
  
"Look at this spiffy button!" Zine said.  
  
"I can't believe they just let you in," Zim muttered.  
  
Writing on her clipboard, Zine asked, "So what do you do here?"  
  
"In the human skools they learn about the planet and how to survive on it."  
  
"So you know a lot?"  
  
"Plenty!"  
  
"Then why are you still waiting on this planet? Why aren't you finished with it?"  
  
"Grrr.Here! Here is the classroom!" Zim walked into the classroom, Zine following. As the two entered, various faces turned, but most just ignored them. An older, spooky looking lady in a black dress sat in the front of the room. On her desk was a nameplate that read "Bitters." When Zim took his seat, the spooky lady slithered over to Zine.  
  
"A visitor? What are your purposes?" Ms. Bitters asked.  
  
"Well, I-"  
  
"She's my cousin!" Zim interrupted.  
  
"You have a cousin?" Zita, the girl behind Zim, asked.  
  
"He doesn't have a cousin! He's an alien!" shouted Dib, the boy with black, spiky hair. At that, Zine wrote on her clipboard.  
  
"I'm visiting." Zine told Ms. Bitters.  
  
"Okay, but if I hear another word from you, you will be exterminated," Ms. Bitters growled.  
  
Zine leaned against the wall next to Zim. When Ms. Bitter began ranting about the world being so happy, Zine leaned over and asked Zim, "Who's the big-headed human over there?"  
  
"Dib," Zim sneered. "My worst enemy."  
  
"Ah."  
  
As the skool bell rang, all the children ran out of the room. All besides Zim, Zine, and Dib. After the room was near empty, Zim made his way out. Zine followed him with her clipboard. Dib was close behind. Zim walked out the front doors and stopped, watching Zine scribble away.  
  
"What are you writing?" the short, green boy asked.  
  
"Stuff." Zine told him flatly.  
  
"Got another alien friend, Zim?"  
  
Zim spun around to see Dib, with an evil grin on his pale face.  
  
"Not now, Dib-worm," Zim spat through gritted teeth. Zine wrote on her clipboard. Zim walked away. Zine stayed right behind him. Quickly, Dib ran in front of Zim.  
  
"What's your new plan, Zim? Can't even conquer a planet on your own, so you got help? Hah!"  
  
Zine leaned over to Zim and whispered, "What's his problem?"  
  
"His head's too big."  
  
"My head's not big!"  
  
"So.Dib. You seem to know lots about Zim. How is he as a .person- whatever?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Does he seem 'normal.'"  
  
"No! He's an alien. Just like you!" Dib pointed at Zine, his arm shaking.  
  
"Well, I never!"  
  
"Hey, Dib!" Zim shouted. He pointed past the boy. "Look over there!"  
  
"Huh?" Dib turned around. "There's nothing over there." He turned back around. "There's nothing over there, Zim!" But neither Zim nor Zine was in front of him. "Ah! I have to stop doing that!"  
  
=====================================  
  
That's all for now, Zimmers. Yes, it be lame. I'm workin' on it. More as soon as I can get it up!  
  
~*Invader Zine: The DEAD Lord Of All Humans!*~ "'Cause life is such a drag." 


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Another long wait. Skool has not been good to me. Except for kickin' some major booty in our talent show. Oh, yes. ::ahem:: Here is another part. Woo! Thanks to all my reviewers! To K.S.Riddle (the mighty JTHM fanfic witer): ^_^ I was thinking of having Zine and Dib go out, but I don't think that'll work out anymore. I mean, since Dib knows she's an alien. But maybe later on they'll be hanging out (I've got something planned that will make that possible, but you'll just hafta wait. Muahahaha!). ANY way, on with the little ficcy thingie!  
  
Here's some fan art I've made to go along with this fic:  
  
Here is one of my PICs Zine:  
  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=185315  
  
And a scene from this chapter:  
  
http://www.side7.com/cgi-bin/S7SDB/DisplayImg.pl?INO=234986  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim. Jhonen created it. Jhonen rocks! Sadly, Viacom ::grumble:: owns it.  
  
Another Insane Irken  
  
Part Four  
  
By: Invader Zine  
  
  
  
With Dib left behind in the dust, Zim and Zine walked through the door of the glowing, minute house. Zim was fuming, but Zine was grinning, while writing on her clipboard. Zine sat her clipboard on the couch and set herself down on the armrest. Turning toward Zim, who was sitting on the opposite side of the couch, she asked, "You let that human know you're an. alien?"  
  
"I didn't let him know," defended Zim. "He.he just.kinda.found out- But he's hardly a threat. I shall destroy him. Oh, how I shall destroy him!"  
  
A scream, followed by metallic taps and sounds of lasers came from the kitchen. Zim jumped up and ran to the doorway of the kitchen.  
  
"Zine!" he shouted.  
  
Slowly, Zine got off the couch and walked over, stopping next to Zim. Zine's jaw dropped and Zim's face was twisted in anger. S.I.R. was chasing GIR around the table, lasers popping out of his head and firing at GIR, who was screaming.  
  
"SIR! What are you doing?" Zine demanded.  
  
Skidding to a halt, SIR retracted his laser, then marched toward Zine. GIR, on the other hand, ran to his own master and buried his face in the cloth of Zim's uniform. SIR saluted to his master.  
  
"He was so annoying!" SIR stated in his soldier-like voice. "He wouldn't stop singing! Then he turned on that horrid monkey show." He grabbed his head. "He needed to be destroyed! I had to do it!"  
  
"SIR, just because someone's annoying," Zine said slowly, "doesn't mean you can destroy them. Just think, if I destroyed everyone I though was annoying, there'd be about only two people left on Irk."  
  
SIR dropped his head, like a child that knew he was in trouble, but saw nothing wrong with his actions. "Yes, master."  
  
"Take the Voot and go wait for me up in Zim's Docking Bay." Zine tossed SIR the hackey sack sized Voot Runner.  
  
SIR caught the Mini-Voot, saluted, and walked off. Zine's disguise fizzled out, at her mental command. As Zim removed his contacts and wig, Zine picked up her notes from off the couch and looked through them. Although most of her notes consisted of winged, horned monsters, she had gathered quite a bit of information on Zim's mission. Sort of.  
  
"May I see the information you've obtained on the humans?" she asked. Zim grumbled under his breath.  
  
"Pardon?"  
  
"Fine," Zim growled. He walked over to the garbage can, Zine following him while GIR sat on the couch, watching TV, seemingly forgetting the whole laser-chase incident. Zim hoped into the garbage can and traveled down to the lab. After staring down the garbage can for awhile, Zine jumped in and slid down the empty tube.  
  
"Ah!" Zine blurted as she hit the cold, metal floor with a thump.  
  
Zim chuckled. "I guess I forgot to send up the elevator."  
  
Zine got up and brushed herself off. "Just show me the information you got, you twit."  
  
Zim typed a few keys on the main computer, bringing up a program titled Stink Encyclopedia.  
  
"Happy?" Zim asked.  
  
"Yes, I am a happy Panda." Zine squeezed past Zim and began looking through the Stink Encyclopedia. There were over one hundred entries for each letter of the Irken alphabet. Zine sat at the computer, taking note, while Zim worked on an experiment behind her.  
  
After searching through the whole Stink Encyclopedia, Zine stood up with a stack of notes in her hand. She shook Zim, who had fallen asleep on his experiment.  
  
"Eh, what?" Zim asked drowsily.  
  
"I see you have obtained quite a bit of information. I'm going to report to the Tallest of your mission. A'ight?"  
  
"Er.right."  
  
In the Docking Bay.  
  
Zine stood beside her Voot Runner, while SIR sat inside it. SIR was pouting with a sullen glare coming from his crimson eyes. Zine held herself proudly as she spoke to the Almighty Tallest on the transmission screen of her Voot Runner.  
  
".and that's all of the information Zim has found." Zine set down her notes. "Also, one human knows he's from Irk, but Zim claims this boy is not a threat."  
  
"That's. great Zine." Red responded. He nudged Purple in the arm. Having falling asleep, Purple just about fell over, but jerked back up and blinked his eyes.  
  
"What task do you have for me to perform now, my Tallest?"  
  
Red and Purple glanced at each other. Another task? This one wasn't even an actual task. But-  
  
"Why don't you just stay here and help Zim invade this planet?" suggested SIR, sarcastically from the Voot's cockpit.  
  
"Yes!" Zine's pink eyes lit up. "Oh, my Tallest, what do you think? I could stay here and assist Zim. With my help, this planet will be under Irken rule must quicker than by Zim's tactics alone!"  
  
"Uh." Purple started.  
  
Both the Tallest turned their heads away from the screen to discuss the issue.  
  
"If we let her stay, she can't some back here and bug us." Red suggested.  
  
"But what if Zim finishes his 'duties' on that planet with Zine's help? Then he'll come back! What'll we do then? Huh?" Purple said.  
  
"They're both so incompetent, there's no chance of them succeeding either way."  
  
"Right."  
  
Both the Tallest turned their heads back to the screen.  
  
"After much consideration, we have decided to grant your request." Purple said with a false smile of acceptance.  
  
Zine's eyes glowed with happiness. SIR's eyes widened in shock. He jumped out of the cockpit.  
  
"No! I was just joking." SIR said. "She can't stay. I can't stay! That stupid GIR unit! I-"  
  
"Shush! Thank you, my Tallest! You won't be sorry. Zine said. She turned of the transmission monitor, which folded itself up, back into the Voot Runner.  
  
On the Massive.  
  
The Tallest looked at each other, and began laughing.  
  
"What an idiot." Red choked out.  
  
"Yeah," Purple agreed.  
  
Back on Earth.  
  
Zine picked up SIR by the shoulders. "Do you realize what this means?"  
  
"Does it mean I can destroy GIR?"  
  
"No," Zine said flatly as she set SIR down. "It means I get to be a real invader. Wow. I can't believe it." Zine paused. "I've got to tell Zim!" Zine ran down to the main house.  
  
SIR stood in the middle of the Docking Bay, still angry about his blurting. "Zim won't be happy."  
  
=====================================  
  
I leave you here. What's Zim gonna say? Good question! We'll all hafta wait. Muahahaha! ^_^''  
  
~*Invader Zine: The DEAD Lord Of All Humans!*~  
  
"Take thy beak from out my hear and take thy form from off my door!" -The Raven by Edgar Allan Poe 


End file.
